i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
