Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
