dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
