Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
