Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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