I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
