Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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