Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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