this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
