Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
