They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
