I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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