u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize