so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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