your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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