if only i could text you this smell
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
