my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
