There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
