two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You're earring is so big in my mouth
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
cat food counts as protein by the way
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
