Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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