Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
