I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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