Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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