I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
They took my balls.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
