Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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