She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
