We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
