were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
