and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
