JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
