ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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