she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
she looked like the before picture.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
