Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
