do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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