Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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