You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
