me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
