Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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