Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Randomize
