Please, let me fuck your mom
In America we eat man semen.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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