i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
