I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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