Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She told me I should be a condom model.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
