she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
