i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
