it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
