Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
