I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
