i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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