Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
